Stuffed

There once was a man who liked pie. He liked it so much, he ate it all day long for every meal and every snack and never actually stopped eating pie. One day, he had so much of it, his body gave up on him and he died.

But the fat man had a friend. And his friend liked anything but pie! So all day long, for every meal and every snack, he ate anything that wasn't pie. He ate apples, he ate sandwiches, and he ate lasagna, and he ate fast food, but this man did not eat pie! Unfortunately, he was allergic to anything that wasn't pie, and he died.

These two men, had two mothers. One was named Fatso, and the other was Chubby. They were not, as you assume, fat though. They were quite skinny actually. This is because they never ate any food. The idea of being fat abhorred them, and they could not stand it. They died of starvation.

Husbands? Are they good for anything? Fatso's and Chubby's weren't. They just sat around all day and ate all day until finally, their cholesterol climbed to such an extreme and unheard of number that they fell into a fat induced coma.

But the two original men, the son of Fatso and the son of Chubby, had the same cousin. His name was Elbert. Elbert hated his name. So did the bully at school. In fact, the bully at school hated Elbert's name so much that he mugged him in an alley. Elbert was knocked out and found by two kidnappers that held him for ransom. Unfortunately, none of his family was there to pay his ransom and he was murdered.